This causes the adult child to take themselves and life too seriously. They often feel like "imposters" in adulthood, constantly waiting for someone to realize they are just a frightened child wearing a suit. 5. Perfectionism as a Shield
To survive, the child becomes an expert at reading a parent’s mood. This develops into an adult who is compulsively people-pleasing and unable to identify their own needs because they were always focused on the needs of the "unpredictable" adult. 2. The Thwarted Separation-Individuation Process What Causes an Adult Child
This creates an adult who is terrified of making mistakes. Because their self-worth was tied to being "the good kid," any failure in adulthood feels like a total loss of identity, triggering the same primal fear they felt at age five. Conclusion This causes the adult child to take themselves
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This causes the adult child to take themselves and life too seriously. They often feel like "imposters" in adulthood, constantly waiting for someone to realize they are just a frightened child wearing a suit. 5. Perfectionism as a Shield
To survive, the child becomes an expert at reading a parent’s mood. This develops into an adult who is compulsively people-pleasing and unable to identify their own needs because they were always focused on the needs of the "unpredictable" adult. 2. The Thwarted Separation-Individuation Process
This creates an adult who is terrified of making mistakes. Because their self-worth was tied to being "the good kid," any failure in adulthood feels like a total loss of identity, triggering the same primal fear they felt at age five. Conclusion