I’m stuck with a street urchin who has the entire history of humanity crammed into her head (and won’t stop reminding us) and a janitor who smells like old socks and broken dreams.

When I signed up to captain the Oz 9 , I was promised a nice, long nap in a stasis pod and a "Terraform Now" button to press in twenty-five years. Instead, I’m wide awake, the coffee machine is judging my life choices, and we just passed Earth’s moon. You know, the big white rock from the childhood bedroom window? Yeah, seeing it up close is cool until you realize you weren't supposed to see it at all because you were meant to be unconscious .

Still mostly metal, though the D&G wing recently decided to undergo a spontaneous thermal meltdown.

Since there are several notable people named , I have drafted a blog post based on the one who is a fictional captain in the popular sci-fi comedy podcast, Oz 9 .

Captain’s Blog #8: Objects in Space are Exactly as Fragile as They Look

Stay tuned for next week's entry, assuming we don't accidentally terraform ourselves into a black hole. — Captain Madeline Marks